Behind Blue Eyes
by AFH
Summary: [Spydah's POV] What made Roger create his alter ego, Spydah? While in jail, Roger remembers how it all happened...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: A.T.O.M. and all related characters © SIP Animation and Jetix. I do not make money writing this fic.  
Alicia Garçias, Angelin and Damian are original characters created by AFH Entertainment just for fun.**

**Angelin and Damian can also be found in the fiction by the CC-squad. That's because I'm a part of that squad.  
Eventually, this fiction will tangle itself in the storyline of the Charity Café (the fiction-series of the CC-squad), so keep an eye on both fics!**

**Now that's all sorted out: VAMOS!**

"Why did I ever get myself into this?", I asked myself while staring at the grey ceiling above. In the cell next to mine, I could hear the bed squeaking and cracking as if there was a heavy weight lifted from it.  
"Probably because you were too ugly to get an other job.", a low voice replied. The man laughed at his own joke.  
"Shut up, you big ball of useless meat."  
The laughing stopped for a moment. My comment had to find it's way to Flesh's tiny brains.  
"That's not a nice thing to say!", he finally spoke and I sighed. How stupid could a person actually be?  
The bed started to make cracking noises again, a sign that the oversized man had made his way back to where he had previously been.  
I looked from the ceiling to the door of my cell. A couple of months had passed since Manning and his team had finally caught us.  
I ask myself the same question again, but this time in my mind to avoid Flesh's foolish comments, and start scanning my memory…

_Who am I?_

I was born thirty-four years ago somewhere in India, but was adopted by an Australian couple ever since my biological parents couldn't take proper care of me. I don't know anything of my true home and family, and to be frank, I don't feel like ever getting to know them either. All I know is that one of my biological parents must have had a Western background, because I've got blue eyes and blonde-brown hair, features that are not so common in India.  
My life in Australia was good, and I had everything I wanted. I loved the wildlife of the Outback and often went out with my dad to study insects and such. That's why I'm so fond of arachnids, I guess...

When I reached the age of sixteen, I met the big love of my life. Alicia Garçias was her name, a beautiful Latina whose eyes were as black as charcoal and she had blackish brown hair that framed her heart-shaped face. She truly was perfect. Lucky for me, she liked me just as much as I liked her. We started dating, but when we reached our six months anniversary, dark clouds appeared: Alicia found out she was pregnant.

Most guys of my age ran off when this happened, but I decided to stay. After all, it takes two to tango, and I felt completely responsible for the situation. Unlike Alicia's parents, my mother and father supported us for as long as we needed help. Trying to do the best for the child, we got married and moved out to a place of our own. I started to work as a technician at the local garage while my wife stayed at home. Good thing all went fine, because we soon found out that there were two little hearts beating inside her belly instead of just one…

_Two little hearts... two babies..._

Off course, we were shocked when we discovered that we'd be getting twice as much trouble as we expected landing on our shoulders, but we had to accept it. After all, there was no turning back now.

It was in the eight month that we had to rush to the hospital in Brisbane. Twenty-eight hours later I held my offspring in my arms for the first time and I have to say: there's nothing more wonderful than the sudden realisation that you've become a parent.

Now, every parent says that their child is the most perfect child in the whole universe, so I guess I'm allowed to brag about mine too. The firstborn, a petite girl, had a pair of chemical blue eyes that'd leave you stunned when you'd look into them. The boy, who was born ten minutes later, definately looked like his mother, having dark hair and nearly black eyes.  
Alicia and I decided to name our son and daughter Damian and Angelin.

I have to say we did extremely well for such young parents. In fact, I could pick up my Zoology study again and finish it within three years! Right after I received my diploma, a foreign company offered me a job as a caretaker for arachnids. Both Alicia and I looked forward to moving to this unknown place, and so I accepted this offer to work at Landmark City Zoo.

It took us a while to adapt to the life in the city, and we had our ups and downs, but we got through most of it unharmed.

At least, that's what I thought...

_How many twists could a life possibly get?_

In my eyes, life couldn't be better. I had a great job at the zoo and my colleagues were my best friends. The kids were happy and healthy, and turned out to be big lovers of the animal world. Damian enjoyed spiders and scorpions so much, I eventually bought a few to keep as pets. Not that I'd let him touch them, no, that was way too dangerous for a five-year-old. Angelin on the other hand had a fascination for butterflies, and could often be found strolling around in the park watching the delicate creatures. She never captured them though. If she did, she'd let it go after a few seconds because a living thing should be free to go where it wants to go.

_If only she could see me now..._

Now Alicia seemed to have a weird view on how to be a decent parent. One time, I got a call from the twin's teacher. School was out for over one hour and still no-one had picked the kids up. I tried to reach Alicia, but didn't get any replies of her, so I had to get over there myself. Imagine a twenty-one year old man in dirty jeans and a green shirt covered with mud apologising to a teacher for his wife being irresponsible. Believe me, I felt as if I failed in parenting.

I took the rest of the day off and went out looking for Alicia without any result. At around midnight she finally came back, stumbling and talking nonsense. She had spent the entire day down at the pub, drinking and forgetting the time. When I asked her why she did this, she blurted out that she was still young and wanted to enjoy her life without constantly looking after the twins.

And that's when I lost it. I started to yell at her, trying to keep myself from hurting her physically. If she wanted to have more freedom, why didn't she contact a babysitter? If she didn't want to look after the kids any more, why did she decide to keep them in the first place?!  
Now it was her turn to yell at me, saying I was the one that had caused all this trouble and that I had forced her into keeping the kids. That ticked me off so much that I took the twins out of their beds and went away. No way I'd ever let my children near a drunken woman who seemingly didn't care about them anyway.

I went to the home of my best friend. He didn't mind me dropping in at such a weird time. We stayed there for the night, and my anger slowly went away. Off course Alicia had a rough time, we both did, but still that was no reason for her to act the way she did.

When I went back home the next morning, I found a few suitcases standing in the hallway. Was she planning on leaving me?! I found her standing in the livingroom and asked her what was going on. She simply said she wanted a divorce. No discussions possible, I could hit the road and figure out what to do next myself. She practically pulled Damian and Angelin away from me and pushed a letter against my chest, saying I was expected to show up at court next week.

There I stood, out on the streets holding two suitcases. I looked at the window and saw my daughter waving at me, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. It truly broke my heart to see my little girl crying...

Those seven days I lived in a trance-like state. I was staying at my friend's place, I kept on working at the zoo, but I did it all emotionless. I was so zombified at that moment that my senior told me not to work with scorpions for a while, because I might got stung while not paying attention.

When I finally stood there in court, in front of the judge, I hoped the man would give me the parental rights. Losing my kids would mean losing everything I live for. My feelings for Alicia, I had lost them quite quickly. I now saw another side of her, and that side kicked me out of my own home.

You could imagine how I felt when the court did not only gave the parental rights to my ex-wife, but also forbid me to get anywhere near the kids! I was left speechless! I still don't know how I made it back to my friend's home.. I felt horrible, betrayed, used…

Off course I couldn't leave my kids just like that. I think being an adopted child did have an effect on me after all. And so I fought for visiting-rights while still keeping an eye on them, trying to get evidence that Alicia wasn't a good mother to them. Though that wasn't as easy as I thought. In two years I've been called to court several times for 'stalking' my kids. After I-don't-know-how-many warnings, I finally ended up in jail for a short matter of time. During my stay there, I snapped. My mind started to play tricks on me, though I didn't show it to the guards and fellow cellmates. I'd work out my new plan as soon as I got out of there. I'd no longer target my children, no, now it was time to look after my ex-wife. Poor little Alicia, if only she knew what kind of creature was coming after her…


	2. Chapter 2

Six months of jail didn't do any good to my social life. I lost my job, my friends, my shelter, _my mind_... Lucky enough I found a new place to stay at an abandoned garage at the edge of the city. Truly found a big pot of gold there, because there was enough old metal and tools laying around that brought back the technician in me. I started on my biggest project ever, a project that would change my life forever.

_And Spydah was born_

I created eight mechanical arms that were all attached to a central point which I could put on my back. To be able to scavenge around at night, I also created an helmet with a couple of mini-cameras that provided me night vision and infra-red capabilities. I should be thankful to the previous owners of the garage for leaving so much good stuff behind!  
Now, in order to move myself around, I had to use my mind... literally... You know that spoon-bending guy that does magic-shows all over the world? Well, let's just say I'm able to do the very same thing, but with bigger objects, and without any cameras in the nae. It took me a while to get the hang of it again, but I did, eventually...

True enough, I wasn't planning on using my alter-ego for longer than necessary. It was simply just to scare the living daylight out of Alicia. She happened to be afraid of spiders (heck, it took me quite a long time to convince her that Damian's tarantula's couldn't escape) and I could use her arachnophobia to make her life miserable. What's more scarier than a mix of your biggest fear and your ex-husband tracking you down in the middle of the night, 'specially on Halloween? Yeah, I like to plan my actions on fitting times and dates.

The cold wind blew through my clothing as I made my way to where I used to live. There were too many people out on the streets, and so I carried my 'project' in my arms, wrapped in a piece of cloth. Finally I reached my old home. The place I bought with my own money, the place where my children grew up, the place that'd later on be associated with death.

I walked over to the back of the house and felt the doorknob. Alicia still didn't see the importance of locking the backdoor. I grinned and went inside. The kitchen looked the same as how I left it, apart from the empty bottles of diverse alcoholic beverages that had been put on the table. I walked further to the living room, spotting a few more bottles there as well. Someone must've had a little party... an Halloween-celebration, maybe? If so, where did all the guests go?

I unwrapped the package in my arms and put my gear on before going upstairs. The shadows my figure made on the wall looked quite weird, even in my eyes. Silently, I walked through the hallway, passing the twins' room. I couldn't help myself and took a quick look inside. There they were, sound asleep. I caressed their foreheads softly. Just when I was about to leave the room, I heard the soft voice of my little Angelin.

_Daddy?_

I turned back to face her, holding my finger up against my lips. She nodded in agreement and sat up in her bed. I sat on my knees next to her, the mechanical limbs resting on the floor. She didn't seem scared by my appearance, no, she wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me.

_"Did you come to take Damian and me with you?"_, she whispered with a hopeful smile on her face. I felt bad for having to break her heart once again.  
_"I'm sorry darlin', but I can't do that... that's called 'kidnapping' and daddy could end up in jail for that, and we don't want that to happen again, do we?"_  
The smile disappeared for a moment and she shook her head.  
_"It's great to see you again, though!"_, she spoke, and her smile appeared again. This time, I smiled too and kissed her forehead.  
_"Now, I'm going to your mom's room to... take care of some things."_ I held my finger up in a warning gesture, _"Don't come after me, and don't get into that room, not even when you hear mommy calling for you, okay?"_  
She nodded again and laid back down.  
_"Just leave everything to me. Sleep well, butterfly."_

Before I left the room, I realised I still had something for the kids with me. I opened a drawer and placed an envelope in it. Hopefully they'd find it before their mother did.

The wind started to blow harder outside, making whistling noises as it went past the walls of the house. A shiver went down my spine. Should I leave now I still had the chance? I thought things over again, and I felt how my extra limbs already started to move back. But in another part of my mind, something tried to push me to the door of what used to be 'our' bedroom. A battle started in my head, and thoughts kept on fighting until the loud rumbling of thunder made me snap out of it. Roger had been swallowed by the darkness of my soul, and Spydah stood up with a grin on his face.  
_She took my life... now it's time for me to take hers..._


	3. Chapter 3

I slowly opened the door to remain soundless and stood in the doorway for a few seconds. There she was, the one I once loved so dearly. Her chest rose and fell as she took a deep breath.  
_Perfection..._ I thought as I walked over to the bed. Four of my metal limbs took their places on the corners of the bed. To keep my balance, two other legs moved forward to push themselves against the wall. There I stood, towering above my ex-wife, watching how she breathed peacefully, how she occasionally moved to get in a more pleasant position. I moved closer to her when she muttered something in her sleep.  
_Do you realy think I'm that stupid, Roger..._, she babbled.  
I smirked, but those feelings soon got replaced by a jolt of shock as Alicia suddenly opened her eyes and stared straight at me. A clicking sound behind me made me spin around. There stood a tall, dark figure in the shadows pointing a small gun at me.  
_"I hate to say this, babe, but you've got too many pests running around your house."_, the man spoke with a low voice.  
_"Tell me about it, I'm looking at a huge rat right now."_, I replied. I felt a swift object brushing my shoulder and heard how the bullet penetrated the wall behind me. It all happened too fast for my brain to give a warning signal to my body. Instead of looking for cover I still stood, shaking my head.  
_"I suggest you'd take some aiming-lessons..._  
One of my extra arms flew in his direction, grabbing the hand that held the gun and pulling him closer. He pulled the trigger again, creating a hole in the ceiling. I threw him against the wall, knocking him out long enough to turn back to Alicia, who now sat up straight.  
_"New boyfriend?"_  
Her lips curled up in a sadistic little smile. _"Not as easy to malipulate as you, but he'll do, for now..."_  
I simply grinned back at her and moved over to the man again. When he looked up at me, I saw a slight hint of fear in his eyes. My pincher grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him up again. Not such a smart move, because I felt his foot slamming in my stomach a second later, causing me to drop him and stumble backwards. A couple of blows towards my head followed. I held my mechanical limbs out in defence and managed to avoid most of the hits.

A hard slam against my chest made me lose my balance. The man took the oppurtunity to throw me out into the hallway. I quickly stood back up on my feet and grabbed my opponent, tossing him through the hallway and off the stairs. I looked down the staircase and saw him pushing himself back up.  
_"It's hard to get rid of weeds, they always return."_  
I jumped down and landed right in front of him. Once he got back up he lost control, pushing, pulling, slamming and kicking me. I on the other hand tried to avoid and dodge the attacks as much as possible. I'd need my strength later, when he'd be too exhausted to defend himself. He did notice this and stopped his rage, taking a few steps back and lowering his fists. The fury was still in his eyes.

_"What do you want of us?!"_, he yelled.  
_"I want what belongs to me..."_  
_"You want your wife? Your home? Well guess what, spider-boy, those things have never belonged to you anyway."_  
_"Those are things of the past, I only want my future._  
The man started to laugh, which made me feel uncomfortable. I didn't say anything funny, did I? Was _he_ making fun of me now? He grinned at me like only a demon could.  
_"As if we care about those two. If it was up to me, they would've been gone already."_  
This time it was my turn to lose control. No one, NO ONE should talk about my children like that!  
I launched myself at him, trying to grab his throath, but at the same time, he also ran forward to tackle me.

I felt the glass of the window behind us breaking, saw the broken pieces penetrating our skin and heared the thunder strike in a tree nearby. My senses were set to the fullest. Never had I been so... _awake_... I kicked him away from me and smelled fire, turning myself around to get the burning tree in my vision. From that point, every move seemed to take forever. I held my arms out to the flames, imagined taking them in my hands and pulled them with me as I swayed my arms over to the man. I felt the fire rushing past my own body, smelled and tasted the smoke in my lungs, saw how the flames surrounded him like a giant red dragon and heard my enemy scream as the dragon finally swallowed him.

I watched how the flames licked his torso, how he held out his arms to me, hoping I'd make this all end. But I, no, _Spydah_ watched him burn and didn't do anything but smile.


	4. Chapter 4

**_This wasn't supposed to happen!_** a voice yelled inside my head. It was my own voice, Roger's voice, but it sounded strange... it sounded weak...  
_But it felt darn good..._ another voice spoke. I recognised it as my own again, but now it sounded stronger, more confident... it actually scared me.  
I grabbed my head in frustration, hoping these weird thoughts would go away.  
_Don't try to get rid of me, it won't work anyway._ the strong voice spoke again. It pulled me into its own realm, letting darkness surround me until I could see and hear no more. I looked around for help, holding my arms out in front of me just like my enemy did before, but struggled as invisible hands grabbed my wrists and pulled them behind my back. **_Who are you?! What do you want from me?!_** I asked with a shaky voice. Something pushed me in the back, causing me to hit the ground.  
_I am you.  
__**No... you're not me, I'm me!  
**Yes... and that makes us 'you'.  
__**I don't want two... two things to be one person! There can only be one personality!  
**As you wish... farewell Roger, no-one will miss you._

That was the moment I felt how a part of me died, but right before 'Roger' disappeared in Spydah's shadow, he managed to take a big part of my telekinetic abilities with him. Spydah would still be able to control his extra limbs, but that would be it. The most dangerous bit had been taken away in order to protect others.

--------

Feeling a pair of eyes stare at me, I look up. It was ReCombo, my cellmate, who looked at me with a questioning frown on his face. I rubbed my own face before looking back at the ground.  
"Do you think there's a way to get rid of one strong part of the soul and replace it with a weaker part?", I asked. ReCombo let his chin rest on the palm of his hand and made a humming sound, showing that he was wondering about this. Finally, he replied: "Even though I'm not into those kinds of things, I'd suggest meditation. I heard that it's helpfull to strengthen your spirit"  
"Been there, done that.", I answered. When I wasn't messing around for Paine and fighting Manning and his team, I'd spend that little time meditating in order to find peace. Never was I able to reach my goal, because there would always be some disturbing factors close to me. If Paine wasn't yelling at us, Flesh would be bothering me, and if both men weren't there, there would always be that voice going through my mind, making sure Roger would never come back.

Roger... Roger Marcel Baker. A name that's on my passport, my driver's licence, on the files of this jailhouse... but my birth-certificate claims that my real name is Radha Anansi. Many hours have I spent staring at that document, wondering how my life would've been if I had never been adopted. What would it be like if I was still Radha?

I crossed my legs and tried to concentrate on my breathing. The noises around me started to fade away in the distance of my mind as I muttered a mantra below my breath.

_Aum  
Bhuh Bhuvah Svah  
Tat Savitur Varenyam  
Bhargo Devasya Dheemahi  
Dhiyo Yo nah Prachodayat_


End file.
